Dealing with my own personal pain is something I'll do elsewhere. What I'm trying to do in these electronic pages is to set forth a thesis of use to other c/s's who are or will someday face the decision we are facing. I know you are out there, somewhere, although both the consumer MI websites and the professional literature ignore you. I know, because here in Israel, I have encountered numerous couples like you. And I am speaking also to lesbian c/s couples who have decided to adopt a child. So here goes.

When issues of raising a family arise, even the strongest couples are sorely tested…and all the more so in the case of c/s's, be they two c/s's or "mixed" couples. For comparison's sake, take a "normal," middle-class couple who give birth to a child with Downs' syndrome, or cerebral palsy. They may be shocked or deeply sad, but they likely will have the inner strength, (usually) the economic resources and the assertiveness needed to deal with the system. Their son or daughter will have a fighting chance to make it. Would ours? Would yours?

MH professionals never tire of reiterating the statistical dangers associated with being a consumer/survivor and daring to bring children into this world.
E. Fuller Torrey, in his book Surviving Schizophrenia  (1983, p. 195) quoted the odds for a child being destined to develop schizophrenia, as 35% for couples in which both parents are schizophrenic, and 10% for those in which only one has that illness. He goes on to say, "the high risk of schizophrenia in the offspring of two schizophrenic parents would also suggest that therapeutic abortion might be considered..." (p. 195)

Whew! Here we are trying to build our lives, and here these doctors are throwing statistics at us, seemingly designed to bow us down and break our spirits, then they drive their Mercedes sedans home to their glowingly healthy wives and children, waiting for them.

We may choose to bring children into the world naturally (adoption is usually not an option). In doing so, we are taking an adult, mature responsibility upon ourselves. What factors can help us, and our child, make the journey, given the very real possibility that our son or daughter may
undergo great suffering from young adulthood on?

To my mind, this is what it takes if you are consumer/survivors, to successfully raise a child:

1. A marriage - yes, a legal marriage ---based on mutual commitment and respect.  Let's face it, folks, these are the building blocks. If you're just living together, what does that say about your commitment to the child you may give birth to? And if you're playing cheating games or putting each other down, the healthiest child will have a hell of a home to grow up in.
   
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